I’ve always been envious of my friends who had older sisters that were their “best” friends. They’d whisper and share secrets, cover for one another’s mistakes, share inside jokes, and spend time together…voluntarily. I have always wanted that type of relationship with my sister, fought for that type of relationship, but its just never seemed to work out that way.
Now don’t get me wrong, I love my older sister and am very proud of her accomplishments. She is a registered nurse, has a good head on her shoulders, is great to her friends, and has two amazing little girls. She is the best mom…her focus is on her children and raising them to be intelligent little girls- they are her pride and joy.
But as a sister…well, that relationship has always been a little bit strained. Our two very different personalities (her being overly critical and me maybe being just a bit too sensitive) just never seem to mesh just right…My sister has always treated her friends as if they were sisters- sharing secrets, inside jokes, and spending all of her spare time with them. As a kid, I got it. We were in different grades and had different interests…it was only normal for us to spend our time apart and with different people. I was hurt, but I understood.
But as we progressed into adulthood, both gone our separate ways and living our lives, I had always held out hope that things would change- exciting events in our lives would bring us closer together- vacations, engagements, weddings, new babies, new houses- but as these events continue unfolding, our relationship keeps fading even further away. Her new life, friends, and acquired family members became more important, pushing me further into the background.
Maybe, hopefully, things will change in time and one day we will have a relationship that others are envious of, too.