Sisters or Enemies?


I’ve always been envious of my friends who had older sisters that were their “best” friends. They’d whisper and share secrets, cover for one another’s mistakes, share inside jokes, and spend time together…voluntarily. I have always wanted that type of relationship with my sister, fought for that type of relationship, but its just never seemed to work out that way.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love my older sister and am very proud of her accomplishments. She is a registered nurse, has a good head on her shoulders, is great to her friends, and has two amazing little girls. She is the best mom…her focus is on her children and raising them to be intelligent little girls- they are her pride and joy.

But as a sister…well, that relationship has always been a little bit strained. Our two very different personalities (her being overly critical and me maybe being just a bit too sensitive) just never seem to mesh just right…My sister has always treated her friends as if they were sisters- sharing secrets, inside jokes, and spending all of her spare time with them. As a kid, I got it. We were in different grades and had different interests…it was only normal for us to spend our time apart and with different people. I was hurt, but I understood.

But as we  progressed into adulthood, both gone our separate ways and living our lives, I had always held out hope that things would change- exciting events in our lives would bring us closer together- vacations, engagements, weddings, new babies, new houses- but as these events continue unfolding, our relationship keeps fading even further away.  Her new life, friends, and acquired family members became more important, pushing me further into the background.

Maybe, hopefully, things will change in time and one day we will have a relationship that others are envious of, too.


9 responses »

  1. I too have longed to have a close relationship with my sisters, but it has never happened. They are both quite a bit older than me and are at different points in their lives, but it hurts that we never even talk except at family gatherings. I hope you will be able to find a way to forge the kind of relationship you want.

  2. Funny how common this is, right? My two younger sisters are very close, but I go months without hearing from either of them. Lots of incidents over the years have led us to a texting only relationship. I have tried to change it a few times, but haven’t really gotten anywhere. I have many friends who are my “chosen” sisters instead. Sad. But it’s life. Helping my children have a good relationship with each other is very important to me as a result.

  3. I am the older sister. Ours too can be a strained relationship. We went through losing our parents and that brought us close…for awhile. We have come a long way…. learned that communication is the key to keeping us tight. She is who knows me best of all….we’re not similar but we are…sisters. Have faith. …. talk.

  4. As adults, it is hard to keep that relationship due to a variety of factors. Yet it is the one that when we finally do get together, brings me the most peace. Be open, and make time.

  5. Thank you. After I read your slice, I decided to FaceTime with my sister. Something I haven’t done in months. Looking at each other, we both had to laugh because it was like we were looking in a mirror. Thanks for your post.

  6. I have one sister, and I now have 2 daughters, so I recognize and appreciate the bonds that sisters have. It’s not always an easy path we travel but in the end – we are sisters!! I hope you can connect with yours in the way you want. Let her know how important this is to you!

  7. I can really appreciate the sentiment you’ve shared in this slice. I have to tell you that it’s got me thinking about areas in my life that I might want to slice about that aren’t as I’d like them to be. Your dreams are real and possibly within reach – don’t give up!

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