What If…


I have always been bad at making decisions. I can never make up my mind and I am always worried that whatever I decide, will turn out to be disastrous. I tend to stress out…to over think…to over analyze.

And now I have a big decision to make and I hate that I now have to be an “adult” and decide on my own. My mom, who I’ve come to depend on to help me make decisions, will no longer help me. “Your an adult, Samantha. What do YOU want to do?” Ugh…If I knew, I wouldn’t be calling you for help!

  I can keep renting my overpriced, super small, but adorable condo close to friends and the city, or finally decide to invest my money wisely and purchase my own place.

The thought of buying something terrifies me…it is so permanent. And of course the self-doubter/stressor in me is in full swing.

What if I can’t find a place I really love? What if I buy something, and I realize I hate it? What if I pick the wrong town to live in? Do I really want to be stuck in Illinois for the next few years?  Or do I want to explore the world a little bit before I make such a big decision? What if….What if…What if….

Ugh. So not an easy decision. Hopefully the “adult” in me can decide soon…


7 responses »

  1. The theme of everyone thinking I’m an adult when I still feel like a bit of a kid really resonates with me! Good luck with your decision – hope you find peace with whatever you decide!

  2. Well, the good news is that there is NO wrong decision. What’s best for you is what is right. I feel your agony through your writing and don’t envy you. Though I must say, your overpriced, super small, but adorable condo close to friends and the city sounds really fun! 🙂

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