Love Hate Relationship

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I have a love hate relationship with running.

I love that running provides me clarity. It allots me an opportunity to reflect on my day, clear my mind, and relieve some of my stress. I love seeing how each run makes me stronger and the satisfaction that each run seems to bring me. When I’m running it’s my time…It’s a short break from my responsibilities and urges me to challenge myself.

But lately, running and I haven’t been seeing eye to eye. The tread mill is against me. My running shoes have been busy protesting (at least that’s what I assume after they’ve come untied for the FIFTH time after I’ve hit my stride). My calf muscles are strained so tight my left leg begins going numb. And before I know it, I’ve jumped on to the side of the treadmill and my self doubt has worked itself into my brain.

 I’ve psyched myself out and slowed to a walk. And then I get mad at myself. Mad that I’ve let myself get to this point. Mad that I’ve let my extremely comfortable couch overtake my life and turn me into the ultimate couch potato. Mad that I’ve lost the miles I used to run so easily, and in a MUCH quicker time. Mad that I get mad at myself…there’s no shame in walking…in starting fresh. I have until September to prove to myself that I can do it again…that running 13.1 miles is possible. I guess I’ll start fresh tomorrow.

slice of life

 

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10 responses »

  1. I love how you state that the treadmill is against you. That’s how I feel about stationary bikes!

    I don’t know how your run, much less consider a half marathon. The only time I run is when I’m chasing after my toddler. (I’m just not cut out for it!)

    BTW: Welcome to our writing community! Glad to have you here.

  2. I can totally relate to this! My goal this summer is to do a half and a sprint tri. I am not an athlete and I am super slow! Sometimes I get really discouraged too. I just remind myself that doing it (exercising) is better than just sitting on the couch even if I’m horrible at it. Tomorrow is a new day.

  3. I’d love to see your first paragraph repeated as your last. Don’t get mad, get glad. Sorry, had to. But seriously, the optimism you expressed in your intro needs to be revisited!

  4. OMG…I also have a love hate relationship with my favorite activity (not running). I love all that you recognize about yourself and your relationship with running. You are right start fresh tomorrow. Go a little further, or run a little faster. Sometimes the hardest part is just starting. 🙂 Awesome slice.

  5. You rose up from your comfy couch and your moved your feet. Doesn’t matter how fast you went. “each run makes me stronger” You attempted, you moved, you succeed!

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